try to soothe yourself
hold yourself as if you were cradling an infant
and then try to trust
when none of this works,
just don’t attack yourself.
All is easier said than done.
But is there something else to do when things feel wrong when you are frozen in place?
You can hear your thoughts and others invade your mind, and you are convinced that what you hear is correct, is the truth…
and you are sure that the only correct interpretation is yours.
So when being bombarded with the thoughts of all you have done wrong, who you have wronged, what THEY think of you, you don’t want to be patient or breathe.
being patient is boring.
it makes you expand,
it opens you in a way that you are afraid is more painful than what you already experience.
But being patient is all there is to do.
So, You breathe anyway, you force yourself to inhale, to exhale because you have hope. You hope it will work in making you feel better.
Just maybe this time, inhaling and exhaling will make a difference.
It works for a moment, and you forget to breathe and forget and go back to the bombarding thoughts until you remember to breathe again, and it works for a moment.
But all we have are moments. When you think about what you remember from a party or a conversation, or an argument, or a dream, they are moments.
So breathing for a moment is what is called for. It just breaks the cycle of downfall, it breaks the spiral down a road that has never, ever been helpful.
That road is the fast track to our ego, not our heart.
The breath comes from the heart,
it is for the soul,
it helps us remember a softer kinder version of us,
which helps us remember who we are.
Dedicated to my two beautiful daughters with love.